Understanding why people become distant

It isn't always easy to comprehend why some people -- whether it's a friend, partner, or family member -- are prone to aloofness. You know, that friend or relative who you hear from occasionally but are unable to communicate with as regularly as you'd hope.

It can often be attributed to two things:

1. Genuinely busy -- Between two jobs, work, and kids, the person has hardly enough time even for himself. Under such constraints, it's difficult to keep in touch on a consistent basis.

2. Making excuses -- Maybe the person could find better ways to budget his time so he can speak with you more often, but doesn't find it worthwhile to expend the effort. If that's the case, it raises an interesting question: Why bother keeping that person in your life in the first place?

It's possible he is not deliberately avoiding you, only that life gets in the way. If you feel you've been put on the back burner, speak to him about it -- perhaps her reasons for being unavailable are completely justified.

Some people never actually become distant at all; they just emerge when they need something from you, which an any outsider is likely to view as aloofness.

In a relationship, conflicting schedules and changing life circumstances can drive a wedge between even the closest friends. You'll also notice that it's typical for one person to be more emotionally invested in the friendship or relationship and thus make more demands on the other individual's time.

Again, communication is key. If, after talking openly about this, you find that the distance only seems to be widening, maybe it'd be best for both of you to part ways.

Comments

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How To Understand People

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