The secret to being happy

As I have alluded to in other posts, happiness is largely a matter of perspective. If you focus only on all the things you don't have or want to have, you might very well be miserable.

If, rather than comparing your lifestyle to that of millionaires driving Ferraris and sporting expensive jewelry, you use the less fortunate as a basis for comparison, you'll feel more grateful for the things you do have and suddenly feel happier about your lot in life.

One mistake people make is relying solely on external sources to be happy--whether it be their jobs, friends, or material possessions. I'm not saying we can't derive any happiness from these -- we all do to some degree.

But in reality, happiness has to come from within. Happiness is by and large subjective. Your idea of happiness might be to go and get wasted every weekend, never get married, and ride around in a Harley. Mine may be to stay at home with my wife watching movies, writing, and reading books. My version is no better or worse than yours.

Don't depend exclusively on other things and people to be happy. Material things depreciate, and we can't take them with us when we die. Other people change and, as such, can't always be depended on. There will always be something unpleasant about our jobs that we wish we could change. In this crazy journey we call life, we are the only ones we can rely upon to be happy. It starts and ends with us.

Comments

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

Understand People

Search This Blog