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How to Understand People: Is it good to reflect on the past?

Lately I find myself reminiscing a lot about the past. I have been combing the internet for radio clips transmitted and recorded by my favorite radio station over 15 years ago. I have also reflected upon old friendships and memorable occasions (birthday parties, graduations, etc.) that have left an indelible imprint on my life.

You're probably wondering why in the world I would be searching for those radio clips. Well, one of the great things about music is that, like pictures, it takes you down memory lane and allows you to reflect upon what your life was like at the time -- who your friends were, which restaurants and movie theaters you frequented (and whether those venues are still in business today), how you dressed, and what your interests were.

Going back to the title of this post, reflecting is healthful so long as it is done in moderation and not through rose-colored glasses. Nostalgia makes us think of happier moments in the past, but we tend to block out the less pleasant images (e.g. tough breakups, parents going through divorce, deaths in the family, etc.).

When you feel the impulse to say "life sucks" and wonder why things couldn't be like they were in bygone days, you can temper that longing for the past by remembering that you likely went through trying moments back then as well.

We also have a tendency to reflect on the first time we ever did something -- whether it be our first trip to the barber shop or to the Grand Canyon, and no matter how positive or negative the experience was. Our "firsts" seem to remain embedded in our brains amid a flurry of otherwise mundane or unexciting events that transpire over the course of our lives. You might always remember the first time you went on a date, but it's unlikely you'll remember, say, the 15th date you experienced.

Again, going down memory lane every so often, whether via pictures or music, is fun and worthwhile. But you mustn't harp on the past and mentally cling onto old lovers or friends. Leaving the past behind and looking forward to new experiences is a fruitful exercise. The experiences of today are the memories of tomorrow.

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