Relationships: What glue holds your relationship together?

The name I've given to what holds a relationship or friendship together is "glue."

If you and your friend are close mostly because you're taking classes together, then that is the glue. If you met the person you recently started dating at a book club, and the fact you're both avid readers is what brought you together, that is your glue. If you live far from each other but stay connected thanks to the 2+ hours you both spend on Messenger each night, you've discovered your glue.

Unfortunately, the glue can wear off easily as soon as someone's circumstances change. You may suddenly drift apart because one of you graduates, or one person decides he is no longer interested in the hobby that brought you together.

Relationships that have the greatest potential to survive are those where both individuals share similar interests or are in a similar life stage. For example, notice how you were more likely to befriend sophomores in high school if you were one yourself.

Moreover, relationships dwindle when one person begins to take an interest in different things. You can always make the effort to try those things -- who knows, you may just like them. If you're not interested, you have to assess whether the relationship can remain strong if their interests are too far apart. If they are, it may be time to move on.

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