Whether we're talking love or money, it's human nature to want what or whom we can't have -- whether it's $20 million in the bank or that attractive neighbor who is already spoken for.
But studies suggest that the anticipation of wanting something can be more potent than the satisfaction that comes from getting what you desire.
In other words, long for the unobtainable -- say, a Porsche -- can be stronger than the joy of having it parked in your garage.
Why is this the case?
Well, human beings have an innate drive to acquire resources -- much as we did back in the caveman days. Psychologically, our mind is not at ease until we obtain something that falls in our radar screens. The challenge of obtaining it is exciting-- it gets our adrenalines going. And if a neighbor, friend, or coworker already has it, that makes us yearn for it even more.
However, once the novelty wears off, we set our sights on something else. Hopefully, you don't have the same mentality when it comes to relationships, but this concept is applicable there as well. Some people love the chase, but once they know they've reeled in their catch, they grow bored.
Wanting what you can't have has the potential to make you take advantage of it once yours.
My suggestion: Don't just strive for what's out of reach. If you're looking to buy a sweater and the brand you're eying is a tad too expensive, why not go for a similar, less expensive alternative? If the guy you're interested in has been married for 8 years and it doesn't look like he'll be divorcing his wife anytime soon, just move on to a different conquest.
Don't love what you can't have; love what you do have!
But studies suggest that the anticipation of wanting something can be more potent than the satisfaction that comes from getting what you desire.
In other words, long for the unobtainable -- say, a Porsche -- can be stronger than the joy of having it parked in your garage.
Why is this the case?
Well, human beings have an innate drive to acquire resources -- much as we did back in the caveman days. Psychologically, our mind is not at ease until we obtain something that falls in our radar screens. The challenge of obtaining it is exciting-- it gets our adrenalines going. And if a neighbor, friend, or coworker already has it, that makes us yearn for it even more.
However, once the novelty wears off, we set our sights on something else. Hopefully, you don't have the same mentality when it comes to relationships, but this concept is applicable there as well. Some people love the chase, but once they know they've reeled in their catch, they grow bored.
Wanting what you can't have has the potential to make you take advantage of it once yours.
My suggestion: Don't just strive for what's out of reach. If you're looking to buy a sweater and the brand you're eying is a tad too expensive, why not go for a similar, less expensive alternative? If the guy you're interested in has been married for 8 years and it doesn't look like he'll be divorcing his wife anytime soon, just move on to a different conquest.
Don't love what you can't have; love what you do have!
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