We mistakenly believe others think just like us

Studies have shown that we overestimate the extent to which others agree with us. We tend to believe that our friends, partners, and even co-workers hold the same views we do when it comes to relationships, politics, religion, family life and myriad other topics.

It's important to distinguish facts from subjective opinions. For example, just because a person desires to be married with three kids and live in a big house enclosed by a white picket fence doesn't mean everyone wishes to go down that very path.

We shouldn't assume that our friends or partners share our preference for chocolate ice cream, baseball, or comedy flicks. "Come on -- EVERYONE likes going to the beach" is something you might hear from a beach lover trying to goad you into going. But if you truly dislike going (whether it's because of a bad experience you had as a child or your general contempt for the sun), don't give in. Stand up for yourself and politely convey that you're not interested. The same applies to peer pressure that revolves around drinking, climbing a mountain, and other pursuits that don't appeal to everyone.

It's always good to open yourself to new experiences, but you shouldn't have to force yourself into doing anything if it makes you uncomfortable. Our friends, coworkers, and partners should understand and not press the issue any further. By the same token, you should not pressure your loved ones into doing anything they're not particularly fond of doing.

Comments

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How To Understand People

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