Skip to main content

Relationship Tip: Don't let anyone get in the way of your goals

As human beings, we like to seek advice from partners, friends, and relatives, especially when we're going through trying times or contemplating a life-changing decision -- like popping the big question or switching jobs.

However, sometimes these well-meaning individuals give us misguided suggestions. They dispense advice that reflects what they would do in your situation or what they did when they've found themselves in similar situations -- not necessarily what they feel would be the right course of action for you.

For example, let's say you've always dreamed of becoming a professor. Many people might try to dissuade you from breaking into higher education because:

  • "that field is not known to pay well"
  • "there are no professorial jobs"
  • "there's too much bureaucracy"
What annoys me most is that there's a good chance none of these individuals have ever even been professors themselves.

It's one thing to say that, based on what others have told you, jobs in higher education aren't always plentiful and the best-paying. It's another to say that you shouldn't even bother.

I lost count of the many times people told me not to do something, yet I did and wound up reaping the benefits. I've also lost count of the number of times people told me to follow a certain path and I resisted -- only to later discover the path I chose on my own was indeed the right one. 

Bottom line: Take others' suggestions with a grain of salt. If we heed someone else's advice and it leads to an unfavorable outcome, you only have yourself to blame for not listening to your gut. 

For more relationship advice and relationship tips, click below.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...