As you know, I love to observe and comment on human behavior, and that includes patterns I see among people of a certain age.
I've worked with three divorced men who have gone on to either remarry or have a serious relationship with someone else. What I've noticed about said women is that they:
And this makes perfect sense.
For one, many men prefer younger women to begin with, as they tend to score higher on the attractiveness meter. As men see it, they usually have fewer wrinkles and health issues, not to mention better bodies. Hence, many men assume that younger women make better partners in bed.
These men are all in their 50s and have already begun looking for someone who could "take care of them" as they continue to age. The women aren't exactly thinking, "Oh geez. I'll have to tend to this guy in his 70s while I'm in my 50s." They live for the present and, right now, it's the men taking care of them by showering them with gifts and compliments, or they're helping the women out financially or in other ways.
Next, the women are in their early 30s and have not yet had children, nor have they ever been married. All of the men I mentioned have kids of their own from their first marriage. When you hear people say that it's difficult for a woman with kids to meet a man, unfortunately, it's true. Most men are looking for women with as little baggage as possible. Either they feel they're too old to deal with kids at this juncture of their lives, or they want the first kid these young ladies ever have to be theirs. They also prefer not having to deal with any divorce drama, which is precisely why they opt for never-before-been-married women.
Finally, in all three cases, the couples have met at work. As we age and our priorities shift, it becomes harder and harder to meet people outside of work. That's why, once they've zeroed in on a potential partner, they waste no time in trying to reel her in.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a relationship where both people are so far apart in age. Age is just a number, right? However, before people become involved, they should consider the following:
I've worked with three divorced men who have gone on to either remarry or have a serious relationship with someone else. What I've noticed about said women is that they:
- Are considerably younger (we're talking 15-20 younger)
- Are child-free (whether by choice or for other reasons)
- Have never been married themselves
- Clearly got some kind of benefit from the relationship (money, citizenship in the U.S., etc.)
- Usually meet the men at work
And this makes perfect sense.
For one, many men prefer younger women to begin with, as they tend to score higher on the attractiveness meter. As men see it, they usually have fewer wrinkles and health issues, not to mention better bodies. Hence, many men assume that younger women make better partners in bed.
These men are all in their 50s and have already begun looking for someone who could "take care of them" as they continue to age. The women aren't exactly thinking, "Oh geez. I'll have to tend to this guy in his 70s while I'm in my 50s." They live for the present and, right now, it's the men taking care of them by showering them with gifts and compliments, or they're helping the women out financially or in other ways.
Next, the women are in their early 30s and have not yet had children, nor have they ever been married. All of the men I mentioned have kids of their own from their first marriage. When you hear people say that it's difficult for a woman with kids to meet a man, unfortunately, it's true. Most men are looking for women with as little baggage as possible. Either they feel they're too old to deal with kids at this juncture of their lives, or they want the first kid these young ladies ever have to be theirs. They also prefer not having to deal with any divorce drama, which is precisely why they opt for never-before-been-married women.
Finally, in all three cases, the couples have met at work. As we age and our priorities shift, it becomes harder and harder to meet people outside of work. That's why, once they've zeroed in on a potential partner, they waste no time in trying to reel her in.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a relationship where both people are so far apart in age. Age is just a number, right? However, before people become involved, they should consider the following:
- Will they feel left out or out of place when the other person hangs out with people his or her age?
- Will they feel jealous if the other person gets hit on by people of his or her age group?
- Will the younger one in the relationship be fine with caring for the older person once he can't take care of himself?
Have you come across this phenomenon in your life? Share your thoughts!
To read my earlier entries, please click here: How to Understand People
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