You would think that they've simply been unlucky -- that is, until these telling words come out of their mouths:
"I've just had just a hard time finding the perfect person."
See, therein lies the problem.
It's not really about being plagued by misfortune.
It's the fact that the person is after something that doesn't exist in relationships: perfection.
If a person intends to wait until they find that "perfect" man or woman, then they'll be waiting until they die.
That means they're willing to subject themselves to a life of unmet expectations and disappointments -- all in the vain hope that a flawless partner will eventually surface.
In a real relationship, two imperfect people accept one another for who they are -- aggravating flaws and obnoxious quirks included.
They work through their problems together. They make each other better not through tactless criticism, but constructive criticism. They compromise. They meet in the middle.
What perturbs me the most about those who expect perfection is that they seem conscious of the fact that they themselves are not perfect. Does that not seem a tad, well, hypocritical?
It's no wonder these individuals struggle to find love.
While certain imperfections are undoubtedly deal breakers (e.g., someone with a criminal record), passing on someone for superficial reasons -- say, they don't have blue eyes, don't like sushi, or aren't big on SEC football -- is silly.
Who says they can't ever take an interest in these things once they're with you?
And even if they don't, that's okay. A couple's differences can actually enhance the relationship in that it gives them more to share, talk about, and teach each other.
Can you imagine how dull a relationship would be if our partner were exactly like us? Just because two people are in a relationship doesn't mean they have to be attached at the hip.
Indeed, people should always embrace their individuality, whether they're in a relationship or not. Their partner should not dictate how they dress or what they believe, for example.
Not having all the same passions and interests is a good thing because it allows us to retain our individuality and continue enjoying the stuff we fancied before getting involved -- whether sports or cooking.
The bottom line is that we can't manufacture the perfect partner anywhere else but in our brains.
Instead of trying to land an infallible
mate, let's aim to to find an imperfect person whom we see as perfect for us through our two eyes.
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