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The #1 reason we expect too much from others

The principal reason why we expect too much from others is because we are often willing to do the same -- if not more -- for them, but they just don't share our disposition.

As often happens in relationships, one person is far more invested than the other. For example, one person in particular is always proposing outings, sending texts, liking Facebook posts, and offering to lend a hand whenever it's needed. The other isn't as actively engaged, sometimes vanishing for weeks (if not months) on end.

Once the other person grows accustomed to this, he or she might simply check out, believing that everything is well under control. They just expect to be catered to.

You can never assume that the other person -- whether it's your friend or partner -- will bring to the relationship the same level of energy and willingness to please that you do. They may claim to be busy with work, family, or other priorities. (As I stressed in a recent post, however, people will find the time for the things and people that matter most to them.)

Nor should you expect people to think or act as you do; that's just setting yourself up for disappointment. People can change at the blink of an eye. What's more, sometimes their actions may not align with their declared intentions.

And you should never get in the habit of spoiling the other person while expecting little or nothing in return. All this does is give them a reason to take you for granted.

If you desire an equitable relationship -- where things are 50/50 -- you will need to establish early on that you want the other person to reciprocate the time and effort you're putting in.

A healthy relationship requires balance -- one where both individuals give and both individuals receive. If both people's expectations are worlds apart, they're sure to run into problems down the road.
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