If you observe any of these behaviors in people around you -- whether a partner, friend, or co-worker -- it's an unequivocal signal that you've got a toxic problem on your hands -- no ifs or buts about it!
1. They consistently make you doubt YOUR own reality.
Better known as gaslighting, if someone twists facts to make you feel wrong or crazy, that’s manipulation, not miscommunication. Trust your instincts and know when to call people out on their BS!
2. They celebrate your failures or secretly root AGAINST your success.
A real friend or partner supports you. They want you to thrive irrespective of their own successes. If someone revels in your setbacks, however, they don't have your best interests at heart -- they’re just plain toxic!
3. They cross your boundaries after you’ve made them LOUD and CLEAR.
Mistakes can happen once, but repeatedly ignoring your boundaries is deliberate. Whether it's the male colleague who persists in getting all handsy or the friend who continues to ask you for money after you've established that the bank is closed, it's as if your admonishments go in one ear and out the other. Don't tolerate it!
4. They use guilt to control you.
"After all I’ve done for you, this is how you pay me back?"
Does the above sound familiar?
Yeah, that’s emotional blackmail, not love or care! It's a sneaky way of punishing someone for bringing their feelings to the fore or otherwise objecting to something the person has done.
5. They insult or belittle you in front of others and call it “just joking.”
Disguising cruelty as humor is a hallmark of toxicity. You'll notice a lot of people are more comfortable doing this while in the presence of others than when alone with you. Why? Because having a receptive audience validates their behavior, whereas when they're by themselves, they're more VULNERABLE, and the distasteful remarks might not land the same way.
6. They make every situation about themselves — even your pain.
How UNPLEASANT is it when you turn to someone for solace, only to hear them complain about their own problems for hours on end?
If you’re grieving or struggling and they still focus squarely on themselves, it’s not empathy -- it’s self-absorption!
If people in your life have developed something of a track record when it comes to these toxic behaviors, it's plain to see they will never change.
Do what you have to do for your physical, mental, and emotional health -- whether it's enlisting a relationship/marriage counselor or getting a new job, even if it might be unpleasant at first. Your well-being should always come first. Remember, never make excuses for this kind of behavior -- you deserve better!
Comments