How many people he or she has dated or slept with is not important. Why should you care about such things when they weren't even with you at the time?
The fact is, they picked you, and that's all that matters.
The only time the past should matter is if the person still holds feelings for their ex. That does merit a serious conversation; if you're both not on the same page, you might be wasting your time on someone who merely wants attention while they lick their wounds following the breakup.
If that's not the case, move on and look toward your future together. What a person did five, eight, ten years ago doesn't define who they are today. People change.
If you press your partner for details on his or her dating/sex life, it makes you look very insecure.
Many people can't help but fish for those answers so that they can compare themselves to the ex. Questions running through their mind may include:
- Am I as good or better in bed than my partner's ex?
- Am I a better kisser?
- What about the ex drew my partner to him/her?
- Could he or she still have feelings for the ex?
Instead of wasting precious brain cells on this stuff, why not just be grateful for your partner and spend quality time with them? Chances are you're as good, if not better, at these things or else you wouldn't be together in the first place.
Focus on your future together and forget about what happened before you got involved. The person you're with today is the one who's here to stay, and the two of you will grow together as the relationship progresses.
Have you ever been jealous of a partner's ex?