Women need THIS to want sex...

Much is made about how most women need to be in love in order to get intimate with their partner.

But I find that many people underestimate how critical a role the mind itself plays. Even if a woman is in love with her partner, she won't be up for sex if her mind isn't ready for it.

Without a doubt, women need a clear mind in order to be in the mood for sex.

If they have their mind somewhere else -- say, on the bills that have to be paid, a project at work whose deadline draws ever closer, or on the kid that's bullying little Ricky at school -- they will find it a lot harder to muster the desire for sex.

It's for this reason that so many couples have to plan ahead, whether for a date night or a vacation. Otherwise, it's nearly impossible to mentally break from her daily worries and get in a love-making state of mind.

I'm not saying that men can't go through this as well. Things like financial hardship and problems at work can make men more likely to resort to drinking than desire sex.

However, I think men are more apt to think of sex as a stress reliever or form of escape than as a burden. When it comes to sex, women are far more cerebral than visual. If there is ample clutter in there --  if too much is weighing on the mind -- the chances of having sex are greatly reduced.

It's important for partners to be open with each other when the mood isn't striking them. It isn't fair to lead the other person on and veer in a different direction at the last moment. The other person should try to be understanding and give him or her as much breathing room as needed.

Once days turn into weeks that turn into months of no sex, that's when one has to wonder if there is something else at play here. Is she no longer sexually attracted to her partner? Is she seeing someone else? Does she have a medical condition her partner is not yet privy to? At that point, he may have grounds to end the relationship altogether.

Whoever said the brain is our most sexual organ likely had women in mind. There's no doubt that men can become highly aroused by their thoughts as well (e.g., porn), but most men will admit that all it takes to get them in the mood is seeing a woman in revealing clothing. Thus, such thoughts are usually so powerful as to trump whatever else they have in mind.

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