Here's why looks matter, even in relationships

Ever notice how you feel more attracted toward your partner when he or she makes a conscious effort to look better -- whether by dieting, working out, or dressing up for a special occasion?

I've taken note of this myself in my marriage.

Whenever I'm on a diet -- as I am now -- my wife seems to draw closer to me and is more frequently in the mood for sex.

It's the same the other way around. Granted, I find her beautiful no matter how she looks. She could be wearing no makeup at all and walking around in a plain tee shirt and loose-fitting jeans, and I'd still find her gorgeous.

However, I can't deny that when she goes the extra mile to look good -- say, by putting on makeup or wearing a tight dress that screams "sexy," it ratchets up my level of attraction toward her. The same transpires whenever I see her putting in a good workout at the gym, which seldom happens given her aversion to exercise.

I think this goes back to a central tenet in the world of attraction: Even if they're not very good looking by society's standards, people who put forth the effort to enhance their appearance succeed in "upping" their physical attractiveness.

Notice how people always comment favorably on things like weight loss, breast augmentation, and new hairstyles. When something is out of the norm, it calls people's attention. It conveys that you're putting some effort into looking your best, and that in itself scores you a few points. Another great example would be wearing cologne or perfume. Good hygiene and personal appearance certainly don't go unnoticed, particularly in the workplace and dating sphere.

Though people may swear by the motto "only the inside counts," it's not 100 percent true. Anyone can appreciate their partner dressing up for a romantic dinner or other special occasion. It shows you not only want to look good for your special someone, but for yourself as well.

Do you agree?

1 comment:

Priscilla King said...

My husband didn't look bad in anything he owned--at worst, in old gardening clothes, sort of quaint and quirky--but the novelty effect when he changed his look for the day was always appealing.

Of course I was not impartial, but...

Before I'd even considered him as a date, he was a willing and successful model of sweaters I knitted. (Tip for guys: if you want to be noticed and even patted by dozens of women of every age and type, model a hand-knit garment at a knitters' convention.) But later, when we worked open-air shows on cold days, ponchos were "in" and I'd knitted a huge, thick, blanketlike poncho that I thought only a woman would consider. He latched on to that poncho and started wearing it. It was ankle-length, with a large hood. He looked like some sort of Himalayan nomad, or actor cast as a space alien, in that poncho, but he was handsome anyway. And the women shoppers in that market could hardly take their eyes off him. Novelty!